- january: okay yeah man new year new me fresh starts all around i'm totally not gonna waste this year like i've done every other year of my life so far
- february: well okay that went quickly but february will be my month i will get shit done
- march: lol wtf wasn't it christmas yesterday
- april: awww little baby birdies and shit how cute but i've still done absolutely fuck all
- may: mAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU AH AHA HHAHAHHA AHHAHA aw shit i missed april fool's day how the fuck did that happen
- june: since when is it summer
- july: blogging blogging blogging blogging blogging sleeping eating blogging
- august: i need to start getting shit done where has the summer gone omg
- september: take me back to the fucking summer
- october: HALLOFUCKINWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS
- november: everything in nature's dying hmm bit of a bummer
- december: chrISTMAS FUCK YEAH OMG YAY. OMG IT'S ALMOST NEXT YEAR. NEXT YEAR, THAT IS THE YEAR I WILL GET SHIT DONE. I CAN FEEL IT.
- AND REPEAT
I can feel myself slowly dying
My head just keeps getting worse and worse
I always feel so dizzy and travel sick.
I can not stand people walking around me as it makes me feel so dizzy
My fits have stopped… I have not had one for a month now
Good right? No. it is not.
I feel so scared the fact that my fits have stopped because these seizures aren’t the problem for my illness anymore, something else is and I have no clue what!
I feel like I am slowly dying
No, I know I am slowly dying, I can feel it in my heart and brain…
I don’t want to be ill
Dakota Fanning is only 1 year older then me… Maybe there’s a chance?!?!
Y’know if she was gay and lived in England….
Thought Freema Agyeman was fit… so typed in Freema Agyeman naked into google and it actually came up with her naked o.O
I hate it when Megan and I get bullied for being together and we actually don’t care and find it funny, but when we tell people they basically tell us to hide that we’re a couple in public and pretend to be friends. We’re only holding hands, we’re not eating each other’s faces off.
So I watched this movie and I thought it was great!!
It is just the man’s mind… You may disagree but actually at least 50% of men think of murdering or having the rape fantasy. They may not actually do it but they still think of it. Hey even girls do!
I think that Jeremy Sumpter was great at playing the emo/gothic guy who always got bullied. It really does show how fucked up you can get just for being bullied.
For me there where even some funny bits, like when Jarod mum’s boyfriend came to dinner.
If I must say something about this movie then I will say that there was no need for the raping or the drugs to be in it. Okay I get it Jarod is fucked up but there are other ways to show this.
Death and Cremation 7/10
Today I researched Amanda Todd and gosh I was so shocked to see the comments underneath when I saw the video such as…
“Learn some spelling and grammar”
“It’s all her fault and she does not deserve respect”
“What makes her so special?”
“Get some common sense, people die for no reason and she actually had one”
“You shouldn’t of killed yourself because someone saw your boobs, you’re so stupid”
etc etc etc…
Gosh people are so sick….
At the age of 9 - 10 I was best friends with a girl called Kirsty Leiper and one day I got a new bike, which I left outside the library and she stole from me… started riding it without my permission… I told her to get off because it was my new bike and she wouldn’t and started riding off with it… Finally she got off but slammed it down really hard. I told her off and then she got a nose bleed but then started telling people I punched her which I never, we fell out and I lost all my friends… They all started picking on me because I had no one and a boy named Darren West kept pushing me around because I was so weak and had no one to talk to.
When I was in Mill Chase Community Technology College I got bullied for being so hideous, ugly, having ‘potato boobs’, having long hair and nits. People use to pretend to be my friends but secretly bully me and I laughed to try and make the bullying go away but they just thought I was weirder. Then one day we played hide and seek and I was the seeker… They all ran away from me like you where meant to but then they started to play it everyday and I started to get the hint.
That was not it, it wasn’t just my ‘friends’ picking on me… People started talking to me asking why I dress so different and laughing at me for being ‘gothic’. I didn’t know at the age of 10 - 11 I should be wearing a bra and I walked into school my tits where a little bigger then others and they laughed at me because they where bouncing and calling me potato tits.
People kept laughing at me for being friends with a lovely guy named Andrew Willis that got bullied because he was different, I never told him that I had a secret crush on him because he got bullied more then me.
Of course Darren West was still on the scene pushing me around, weirdly enough he was the worst out of all of these bullying but I can’t remember it very much.
When I went into Penketh High the bullying stopped and I got loads of friends and life was just so different… I thought the bullying would stop and life would be different forever but then in year 8 - 9 I went out with a guy called Adam Edwards and did foreplay with him (not doing sex though) and started sexting him and sending him pictures… After a while he told everyone or someone and the whole school knew, I denied it but I still got bullied and everyone was still talking about it. My old life started to come back as they were calling me a slut and things. Finally it stopped and everything went back to normal.
In year 10 - 11 I thought I learned my lesson by sending pictures to people but obviously not. I sent pictures to some random guy on the internet and then he started writing ‘Bethierawrr has a really nice vagina, it made me cum so hard’ he never took it off and a year later, he said that he recorded it and watches it all the time. I am always now going to be scared that he is showing it to people.
Since I was the age 9 - 10 I have been afraid of the dark and been cutting and wanted to die, things like this hurt and I do agree some of it is my fault but some of it also isn’t… I couldn’t help that I had so many nits it took about 5 years to get rid of it, I can’t help that I am ugly and I can’t help that I have made mistakes because everyone does.
I should not of flashed or done foreplay, but everyone makes mistakes…
Everytime something big happens I think of killing myself or self harming and thats because it is kind of like a addiction to me now and that is my pasts fault.
Im not trying to make you feel sorry for me, I am just saying how I feel.
You really need to think, should Amanda Todd really deserve to die because she flashed because I flashed to so do I deserve to die to?!
Today I saw a Article about a girl getting raped on facebook. When I saw it my throat seriously felt like it was just about to be sick.
I am so scared of getting raped it is the WORST thing in the world in my opinion. It makes me sick and makes me cry everytime I read about people getting raped, it is just disgusting. I have really got to stop reading article’s about it because it is just so upsetting.
I am so scared of the dark because I am scared of getting raped and that all it is. When I was the stereotype “emo” and was depressed and selfharmed, most nights I went out and went past pubs and was hoping something would happen because I knew I was so scared and thought I deserved it. Now I have never been so scared of it in my life.
Im so scared that me and Megan once had a lovely day out and stayed out late and hd to get the bus back… (Family would rather have wine then give us a lift), the bus driver looked suspicious and even though the bus was full I was crying all the way home and squeezing Megan’s hand when the bus kept getting slower… then every single person got off at the same stop and I had to get off too and get a taxi driver who I trusted to take me home.
Also Gemma Roscoe on Prisoners Wives who was played by Emma Rigby got raped in the programme and I just ran up the stairs crying because I didn’t want to watch it and because it makes me sick.
Because I am so scared and so upset about people getting raped I sometimes wonder if I got raped. I know that is a bad thing to say but it’s sometimes what I feel. But if I did get raped I would remember right? Even if I was a little child I would of remembered right?
I am so scared.
Also what makes me sick is that some people even make these articles up just to get likes and comments! To be honest even if it was real, why put it on facebook or any other popular website… This article that I read earlier said “this girl is getting bullied because she was raped by her uncle” well people are most likely to say things on the comments if it is true… and I doubt she wanted half the generation to know about her!!
I am so scared that one day it will be me, sometimes I think I can read peoples minds and predict the future… maybe this is my way of predicitng the future for me.
I am so scared… I wish so many people did not get away with it.